If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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