he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
