so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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