fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
