The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
