I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize