am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
