K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
