so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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