So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
