i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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