D3 body, D1 cock
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
