I hate your face
wanna go halves on a baby?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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