i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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