ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
