My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
