I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
