im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
