I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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