conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
did you just send me my own nude
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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