its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
