Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
