More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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