She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
