shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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