the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
