It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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