evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
