He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
