It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
