Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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