My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize