I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
