piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize