ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
