Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
