i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
