My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you inspire me to be a worse person
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
