Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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