only if we run a train.
done.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You pole danced in your parka.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
