I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize