I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need a beard to bite.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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