More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
