it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
is wine microwaveable?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
