my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
