He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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