We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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