so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You are a genius and a whore.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
