yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
