did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
