Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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