I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
