I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
