I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
