just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
