how can u be prego again
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
