I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
