Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
