I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
