youre lurking in front of me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
there is puke in my bra ... again
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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