I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
