I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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